Adjusting to motherhood
Becoming a parent is a life changing event.
Motherhood is incredibly rewarding and it can also be very challenging. Many women move from full-time work into full-time motherhood in a short space of time. The complexities of dealing with a newborn baby are compounded by a sense of isolation associated with being at home all day often alone. Support networks like family and close friends are important but not everyone has them.
Common difficulties with being a new mother
Many women have expectations of themselves and the type of mother they want to be. These expectations are based on childhood experiences and the type of parenting received. If initial experiences of becoming a parent are different to expectations this can cause stress, anxiety or even depression.
Many mothers feel overwhelmed by the parenting experience at some point. According to Beyond Blue (www.beyondblue.org.au ), the experience of becoming a new mother is difficult due to a combination of issues, like:
• a difficult pregnancy
• complications during labour or delivery
• difficulty breastfeeding
• loss of control over their day to day
• complete dependency of a newborn baby
• past history of depression or anxiety
• problems with the baby’s health
• lack of financial, practical or emotional support
• having an unsettled baby
For many women the above issues can result in feelings of “not coping”. For others it can lead to postnatal depression, which affects 16% of new mothers in Australia (www.beyondblue.org.au) and is more common than many people think. However it’s a topic that is often taboo and not discussed even amongst other mothers or with close family and friends. There is shame admitting motherhood is difficult as many women believe this is an innate skill that all women are born with. It is in fact a skill that needs to be learnt like most skills in life.
Common difficulties as children get older
As their children grow and more children come along, many women struggle with a sense of identity. Before children they may have defined themselves through what they did for work, for instance they were a Pharmacist or a Marketing Consultant. What some women find difficult is the loss of identity associated with leaving full-time work and becoming a full-time or part-time mother, particularly if they have invested a lot of time building a career. Many women find themselves needing to rebuild their identity incorporating their role as mother and career woman, but being unsure of how to do it.
Returning to work
Women returning to work after having a baby often struggle with separation issues and guilt associated with leaving their child. This can be particularly difficult when children are quite young and if women need to return to work full-time. A lot of women struggle with these feelings and find it difficult to talk to partners, workmates or friends who may not have been in this situation themselves.
In addition, the return to work experience can be a juggling act for many women. Trying to balance work with family and still find some time for themselves. Finding a work situation that allows flexibility as well as stimulation is also often challenging.
How we can help
There is no shame in admitting motherhood is difficult, most women feel this way at some point but many feel shame in admitting it. Help is available. We provide a safe, non-judgemental environment and can support you in working through your issues and in dealing with your feelings.
During therapy we work with you to examine and change unhelpful expectations and patterns of thought. Therapeutic research suggests a change in thought patterns leads to a change in feelings and behaviour. It can be an uplifting experience when change begins. We focus on reducing the painful symptoms as quickly as possible and providing some tools for you to use going forward. We help you identify your strengths and draw upon them. Everyone is different but many people start to see change or gain clarity after 4-6 sessions.
Contact us
Call Dr Mataji Kennedy on 0414 301 237 or send an email to mataji@gainingmomentum.com.au to make an appointment or to get more information.
